Are you wondering how to be happy? I’m going to let you in on the BIG SECRET to happiness…
Happiness is a choice.
Even if you don’t believe me, it’s true!
You might be thinking…”I don’t feel happy.”
I get it. Most of the time, I don’t “feel” happy either. In fact, most days I wake up feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. But I’m still happy.
Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? How is this possible?
1. Take Responsibility for Your Happiness
Maybe your thinking, “But you don’t know what so-and-so did to me!”
You’re right, I don’t, but what I do know is that blaming others gets us nowhere.
“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.”
I'll say it again—we need to take responsibility for our own happiness.
If we hold other people responsible for our unhappiness, we’re refusing to take responsibility for our own lives. Maybe we weren’t responsible for that particular situation that hurt us, and we can’t be responsible for someone else’s behavior, but we are responsible for how we respond to other people and situations.
The true sign of maturity isn’t age, but taking responsibility for our own happiness and choosing to concentrate on what we have rather than what we don’t.
2. Choose Happiness Even When You Don’t “Feel” Happy
Your feelings are your feelings, and they’re very real. But moving on is a choice, and that’s also very real.
If you truly want to learn how to be happy, you need to choose to be happy, even when you don’t feel like it.
Regardless of your feelings, your past, or your present circumstances, happiness is a choice. Being happy starts with the decision to be happy. Happiness doesn’t just “happen” when things are perfect, because perfection doesn’t exist.
Make the decision to be happy, then take action. Always keep moving forward.
3. Start with Yourself
You don’t have to change the world to be happy. You don’t even have to change other people to be happy. If you want to be happy, you have to change yourself.
The art of being happy involves being able to laugh at difficulties as soon as possible after they happen. Don’t wait too long to see the funny side of your disappointments or to learn from your mistakes.
Happiness is a choice, but being miserable is a choice too.
For years, I made the choice to be miserable. I’ve since made the choice to be happy, and I continue to make that choice every day.
You can be happy too.
Still wondering how to be happy?
Here are some more tips on how to be happy despite your circumstances.
Recognizing and Breaking the Unhappy Patterns
Life consists of positive and negative patterns. You’ll probably recognize and may have even experienced some of these patterns:
You can rewrite these patterns to become what you choose, starting with what people tend to view as the biggest barriers to their happiness:
1. Build Your Self-Image
We are what we believe we are, and how we see the world is a reflection of who we are.
Sounds deep, huh?
It’s actually pretty simple.
As I described in my journey to self-acceptance, your self-image is shaped by your thoughts. You are whatever you think you are. You’re a product of your thoughts.
As Matthews discusses in Being Happy, our self-image may need to be improved if we:
If we change the way we think and the way we talk about ourselves, we can reshape our self-image. Your thoughts become actions, and your actions become habits, and your habits become your reality.
If you want to change your reality, you need to change the way you think.
Picture in your mind how you want to be, not how you are, and your thoughts and actions will begin to align with that image. What was once a picture will become a reality.
If you struggle with self-image, check out the positive affirmations and tips for positive self-talk in my journey to self-acceptance.
2. Prioritize Your Health
You can’t be fearful, anxious, irritated, and healthy at the same time. It’s physiologically impossible.
Your body’s health is a reflection of your mental health. Sickness is often the result of unsolved inner conflicts, which show up in the body. Disease of the mind becomes disease of the body.
Subconsciously, we may even get sick to get attention!
To be healthy and energetic, must believe that we deserve to be healthy. People who feel loved get sick less often than those who don’t. If we don’t feel loved, it’s often because we don’t love ourselves (this goes back to self-acceptance).
We must learn to maintain positive emotions and express our feelings. But we wary of vocalizing feelings (especially negative emotions or physiological symptoms) simply for the sake of complaining about them, which may only perpetuate those feelings. Recognizing a problem is only valuable if you can identify how to solve it.
Focus on the solution, not the problem.
3. Improve Your Finances
Improving your financial situation is not simply a matter of working hard. We’ve all tried that before and in most cases, it doesn’t work. You have to work smarter, which starts in the mind. You need to be comfortable with money in order to have it.
Those are some ways to address some of the life circumstances that can try to steal our happiness. Don’t let life steal your happiness! Remember, happiness is a choice. Being happy starts by making the decision to be happy, then taking action towards happiness.
How will YOU choose to be happy?
Nicole Starbuck is an intuitive business coach helping spiritual women entrepreneurs stress less, achieve more, and build 6-figure online empires online without the burnout. Click here to learn more.