The new year represents a fresh start. It’s a great time to set goals and plan for the future. That’s why over 60% of people set New Year’s resolutions.
However, while a clean state may sound appealing, for most of those people, “resolution” is just another word for a promise they don’t intend to keep.
I’m a recovering perfectionist. I say “recovering” because overcoming perfectionism is a huge undertaking that is ongoing and probably lifelong. I’m a work in progress, and I’m making my peace with that.
However, it’s worth noting that even though I’ve come a long way in letting go of perfectionism, the perfectionist in me still emerges every day. Recovering from perfectionism is like playing whack-a-mole with yourself. You’ve got to beat that perfectionist into submission!
A lot of people don’t realize what being a perfectionist looks like in day-to-day life, or how difficult overcoming perfectionism can be. Here are a few of my confessions as a recovering perfectionist.
Are you wondering how to be happy? I’m going to let you in on the BIG SECRET to happiness…
Happiness is a choice.
Even if you don’t believe me, it’s true!
You might be thinking…”I don’t feel happy.”
I get it. Most of the time, I don’t “feel” happy either. In fact, most days I wake up feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. But I’m still happy.
Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? How is this possible?
*NOTE* This post mentions God. If that term doesn't resonate with you, feel free to replace it with Source, Universe, or whatever other word feels good to you.
With my history of anxiety and depression, I’ve never been very good at letting go of anger.
I can recall the moment in which I learned how to let go of anger and frustration. I’d never been so angry in my life.
I'm not a naturally thankful person. I have to consciously work to have and express gratitude. Here are some of the ways I've learned how to be more grateful.
Are you wondering how to find your purpose?
“The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder—a waif, a nothing, a no man.”
Perhaps you’ve been feeling tired, weighed down, or overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve been told that’s just life, that’s just the way it is, or that’s how it’s always been and/or always will be.
After all, we’re simply human / we live on Earth / [insert other lame excuses here].
“It is usually meaningless work, not overwork, that wears us down, saps our strength, and robs our joy.”
Deep down, you know there’s something more to life. There’s got to be something more than survival, stability, or even success. You crave significance.
But you’re already doing so much. How can you do less while achieving more?
Find your purpose and focus on what matters most.
A sex therapist once told me that my ethnicity plays a role in my love life. At the time, I didn’t believe her, but now I see there’s truth to this statement.
There’s a connection between self-acceptance and the ability to receive love from others. We can’t give what we don’t have. Therefore, we can’t give or receive love if we haven’t learned to love ourselves.
I struggled with self-acceptance for many years. I hadn’t learned to embrace my ethnicity, and as a result, I hadn’t fully accepted myself.
How could I truly love other people if I didn’t even love myself?
“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” -Harry S. Truman
During my freshman year in college, the Arizona Star called and asked me if I wanted to subscribe to their newspaper.
“I’m a college student. I don’t read,” I answered before hanging up the phone.
What I meant to say is that I don’t read for fun. Over ten years later, that’s still true. I don’t read for fun. I read to learn.
That wasn’t always the case. When I was growing up, I read a lot, and mostly for pleasure. As soon as I could talk, I was constantly bugging my mom to read with me, and by kindergarten, I was reading chapter books. During the summer our local library ran a reading program for kids, complete with milestones and prizes. The go-getter that I was, I always won all of the prizes long before the program ended. Throughout elementary and middle school, I carried at least one or two books with me at all times. Reading was a priority for me.
Then during high school, I stopped reading for fun. I was taking so many honors courses that I didn’t have time to read for fun. Or rather, I didn’t make time to read. Back then, I thought that studying and getting good grades was more important than enjoying myself. The only books that I read were the ones required for class.
Several years, one diploma, and a bachelor’s degree later, I was stuck at a dead-end job I hated and so depressed I couldn’t even look at a book, let alone read one.
That all changed when one day, one of my friends challenged me to read a book that changed my life forever. What came next was a rekindled love affair with reading that not only reshaped my relationships, but positively impacted my business by empowering me to start one in the first place.
Here are three books that were game-changers in my life and business.
Confession: I'm an introvert and I don't make friends very easily.
I work from home and could easily spend all day in my pajamas without speaking to a soul. However, I don't want to be a recluse, so I've been making a conscious effort to meet new people and make new friends.
The problem is that new friends come with new opportunities, and new opportunities often mean new challenges.
"If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you." -Fred DeVito
Nicole Starbuck is an intuitive business coach helping spiritual women entrepreneurs stress less, achieve more, and build 6-figure online empires online without the burnout. Click here to learn more.